🏆🤖Elon Musk Might Add Another ‘X’ Company to his Portfolio, This Time a University?

THE BIG PROFITS💸

Elon Musk Might Add Another ‘X’ Company to his Portfolio, This Time a University?
In his grand vision.

Zuckerburg “Out Billions” Huang
Zuckerberg’s net worth has rocketed.

“MAVERTISING!!!”
The new trick to install malware.

Stanford University

Elon Musk Might Add Another ‘X’ Company to his Portfolio, This Time a University?

Elon Musk just dropped a bombshell: he’s eyeing a $139 billion buyout of Stanford University, because clearly owning Twitter wasn’t enough of a joyride. In his grand vision, the iconic campus will be rebranded as “X, formerly known as Leland Stanford Junior University,” or X-fka-LSJU for short, where autonomous USB drives might just become the new professors.

Musk’s plan includes renaming the E-Quad to the Elon-Quad and, naturally, hoping X Æ A-XII (his son) will get admissions boost as he “manifests” his place in the Class of 2042. But hey, if this all sounds a bit off-the-wall, it’s just another one of Elon’s jokes… or is it?

A satire post by the Stanford Daily.

Mark Zuckerburg

Zuckerburg “Out Billions” Huang

Mark Zuckerberg is now the heavyweight champion of wealth gains this year, adding a cool $54 billion to his bank account, while Nvidia's Jensen Huang is nursing an $11.5 billion bruise from a stock nosedive. Zuckerberg’s net worth has rocketed by over 40% to a jaw-dropping $182 billion, pushing him to fourth place on the rich list—just $7 billion shy of Bernard Arnault, and leaving Huang in the dust with his $93 billion.

Sports, Entertainment & Culture

Ricky Pearsall: San Francisco 49ers rookie Ricky Pearsall turned up at practice as a spectator just five days after taking a bullet to the chest during an attempted robbery, showing off his resilience like a champ. Released from the hospital and back at the team facility quicker than a wide receiver can sprint, Pearsall is sidelined for at least four weeks, but his miraculous recovery has everyone, including coach Kyle Shanahan, marveling at his survival skills and his knack for keeping spirits high with FaceTime calls.

Simone Biles: Chicago fans can finally breathe easy—Simone Biles has confirmed she’s stocked up on Bears gear, so no more Packers logos at Soldier Field! After causing a stir with a Green Bay jacket at her hubby Jonathan Owens’ game, Biles assures Bears fans she’s now all in for the Monsters of the Midway, ready to cheer in true Windy City style this Sunday.

Creators are Taking Control: Jools Lebron, the TikTok star who soared to fame with her "Very Demure, Very Mindful" work look, is now facing the trademark tango after discovering someone else tried to snatch her viral phrase for themselves. But not to worry—after shedding a few tears and rallying her social media army, Lebron triumphantly declared she's got the situation under control, thanks to her new team and a supportive online crowd.

Science and Technology

The Launch of Polaris Dawn: SpaceX is about to kick off its Polaris Dawn mission, a billionaire's space adventure that's pushing boundaries like a rocket-fueled thrill ride. The crew—led by tech mogul Jared Isaacman and featuring SpaceX's very own Sarah Gillis and Anna Menon—will break new ground with the first commercial spacewalk, debut SpaceX's extravehicular suits, and test Starlink’s laser communication, all while cruising up to 870 miles above Earth. With live coverage and a launch time that’s been pushed around more than a moon rock, this mission promises a space spectacle that's anything but ordinary.

“MALVERTISING!!!”: Search engines are becoming a digital dumpster fire, thanks to spotty AI and an ad overload. But here's a new worry: "malvertising," a.k.a. the sneaky hackers' new trick to install malware or phish for your data through seemingly innocent ads. They look just like your usual ads—often mimicking big names like Amazon—but can trick even the savviest, like those Lowe's employees who got duped by a misspelled phishing link. To avoid this mess, keep your software updated, use ad blockers, and, seriously, stop clicking on those sponsored ads that rarely lead anywhere good.

Saturns Rings: NASA is sounding the alarm: Saturn's iconic rings are about to play a cosmic game of peekaboo, disappearing from view within months due to the planet's tilt. Stargazers have until early 2025 to catch a glimpse of these dazzling rings before Saturn aligns edge-on with Earth, turning its stunning rings into a nearly invisible sliver of space bling.

Quartz and Gold: New research suggests that the Earth’s electric currents might be the secret behind those hefty gold nuggets hiding in quartz veins. According to the latest study, it turns out that quartz crystals, which act like natural batteries when stressed by earthquakes, might be generating enough electricity to pull gold from underground fluids, slowly forming those shiny nuggets over time.

Business & Markets

Its “Glowtime” Apple Event: Wall Street analysts are practically drooling over Apple’s stock ahead of Monday’s “It’s Glowtime” event, where the tech giant is set to unveil the iPhone 16, turbocharged with AI, and the latest AirPods and Apple Watch. With a majority of analysts giving Apple a thumbs-up and a price target predicting a 10.5% bump, investors are eager to see if the “golden upgrade cycle” will make their wallets shine as brightly as the new gadgets.

Ticketmaster Disaster: The U.K.’s Competition and Market Authority (CMA) has decided to investigate Ticketmaster’s “dynamic pricing” shenanigans after fans faced price hikes from $200 to nearly $500 for Oasis tickets. In a classic Ticketmaster move, the algorithm-driven pricing is now under the microscope, with CMA inviting disgruntled fans to spill the beans on their ticket-buying horror stories before the September 19 deadline. Meanwhile, Oasis claims they were just as surprised as the fans and had no clue their tickets would cost an arm and a leg.

Nvidia’s Revenue in Q2: Nvidia just dazzled Wall Street with a $30 billion revenue for Q2, but here's the catch: nearly half of that came from just four secretive mega-clients—probably Microsoft, Meta, Amazon, and Google—who are snapping up GPUs like they're going out of style. This tight-fisted revenue haul could spell trouble if these tech giants decide to diversify or if their AI chip craze turns out to be a temporary fling, with Nvidia's stock now caught in a high-stakes game of "Will They Stay or Will They Go?"

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